Learning to BREATHE !!!

Maybe it's the acupuncture. Maybe it's the Chinese herbs. Maybe it's bumping up the vitamin B-complex or using it sublingually. Maybe it's the commitment to walking 5-7 days a week. Maybe it's just knowing that I've made the decision to consider my current workplace as a temporary place I work. Maybe it's a little bit of all those things combined (most likely). But I'm noticing that I'm finally getting a better handle on the "stress thing" than I had before.

I've worked in the same place for over 6 years now. It was fine for a long time. But the business was sold at the beginning of 2007 and I've since had a new boss. Don't get me wrong - he's a nice guy. It's just that we have completely different ways of working and dealing with the world. He is into chaos, and I am most definitely not! I've managed so far, but since working for him, it has been getting to me and wearing me down.

While I realize some of this is simply a matter of the life-shifting-thing as I get older. . . I'm certain the last six or seven months has definitely been due to stress of the job situation (since January, go figure!). Stress wrecks havoc with every system in your body and your psyche!! I had noticed being a lot more tired than I had previously been. I have been getting a lot of headaches. By Thursday or Friday afternoons, I was ready to run away and hide!!! It was to the point that on weekends, I wanted it completely quiet and I had no energy left for ME! Something had to give. I was so close to jumping into some temp position that probably wouldn't suit me - Just to get away from this! Then I realized. . . "DUH!! I can do almost anything if I know it's temporary, right? Ok, So why not just shift my thinking about the job situation? Just shift the way I see this current job position into being a temporary position?" That helps a great deal. . . along with the other little changes. I seem to be breathing a bit easier these days!

Oh sure, I still have a few days here & there where I feel like throttling someone (but I don't). And who doesn't have those days? But over the last two or three weeks as I've been implementing gradual changes, it now seems to be a bit easier to take that deep breath and count to ten. . . and roll with it. I'm not as tired as I had been. I'm realizing that it takes a bit more energy to catch one's self before the frustration flies, than it does to have it slip out. No wonder it can sneak out so quick! It's beginning to make a little more sense why depleted people are so cranky and snippy. Although letting the anger or frustration fly uses up energy, it actually requires a little more energy to catch it and redirect it! So now that I feel a bit more energetic, when I do start to feel overly annoyed by something at work, it's been just a bit easier to stop myself (deep breath), and shift gears into "It's-not-the-end-of-the-world & Don't-let-'em-get-to-ya" mode.

I had been walking, just not everyday or as often as I should! Although a knee sprain had kept me down some of the time, there were also too many times when I'd let. . . a windy day, or threat of rain, or whatever kind of "talk" me out of it. No more! Now I take another deep breath and say, "Let's go!" Because of the stupid knee thing, there are still some days I can't go as far as I'd like, but I try to get out there at least a little everyday. Of course the extra vitamins probably help me to have more energy to get going. Funny thing is, I was already taking vitamins. But I learned that the older we get, the less we absorb of the B-vitamins through our digestive tract! So I started a sublingual vitamin B complex and that's kickin' in! But like I said earlier, I've been making a few changes. Life has sent challenges that required me to do some things differently. Reading those books I've mentioned (earlier blog posts) has also helped me to better understand the changes that getting older brings with it, and how to accommodate some of those changes. I suppose it's a package kind of deal.

I'm getting back to meditating. I had been having trouble with that as I was so tired that I'd fall asleep!! Bummer! When I didn't fall asleep, I couldn't seem to keep on track. I'm now having a bit more success with that. So some gradual changes on things here and there, seem to be improving life all around. Not that life was bad. . . Contrair!! It was just that I was beginning to feel awfully overwhelmed at times and not able to enjoy some things I wanted to enjoy. I still have too much to get done & not enough hours to do it. But now I just don't feel as much pressure about it.

I also think that too frequently we tend to get too hurried in daily life. We woof-down our food, and we take little, shallow breaths. We think we have to get there and be in line first! We skim the surface and live life just on the exterior edge. . . all because we think we have to hurry here or there with this or that. There really is something to be said for, "Stop and smell the flowers." Silly thing is, I KNOW THIS and I HAVE KNOWN this for a Long time! And yet sometimes I too, get caught up in the hurry, hurry world.

When I was studying herbal medicine, people would ask me some variation of, "Hey is there an herb for _________ problem? Can you help me with that?" I'd start asking them questions about their health history that they perceived as irrelevant, and they'd get annoyed and ask the question again in a "I just want... blah, blah, blah..." kind of exasperated tone. What I couldn't seem to get across to some folks is that #1, I need more information before I could even begin to recommend an herb for someone. Because -- Some herbs work well for some people with some issues and other herbs work better for other people. . . and it would depend on the type of issue(s) they were having, and what kinds of unique things they have in their history! And #2, Many of our health issues or problems actually STEM FROM our refusal to slow down!

For example: I'd get someone asking for some herb to help them relax and get their mind to stop buzzing in the evening. I'd suggest a synergistic combination (depending upon what all was going on with them) of herbs to be taken as a tea -- to be quietly sipped over a 30 minute time frame.
The typical response I'd get was,
"What are you -- Kidding me? Like -- I don't HAVE that kind of time! Can't I just take something?"
And I'd be thinking,
Uh. . . Hello? You JUST asked me for a remedy to your buzzing mind and a way to unwind and relax. . . and you don't have time?
It is truly mind-boggling! And yet. . . I occasionally find myself rushing into stress and tension with the best of them! We really have to take responsibility for MAKING the TIME to take care of ourselves. . . and that means making time to relax (or even to learn to relax).

So I have been redirecting myself and re-establishing my energy. I have been re-educating myself about not falling into the rush, rush, rush, hurry, hurry mentality. I have been reshaping my thinking regarding my job situation. And I have been doing whatever has been necessary in order to make the changes needed to meet new challenges that seem to be blossoming in my life. All the while, trying to remember to take a walk in the garden, take a deep breath, and smell the flowers. The honeysuckle and the butterfly bush are particularly nice this time of year!

Be well!
~Paulena