A month or so ago, I was trying to upload an update to my main website. Unfortunately, it updated all the pages except my index page. As many of you would know, the index page is like the main, up front page you land on when going to a website! So, having the index page not update... is like having old info greeting your visitors! Not the end of the world as we know it... but not great.
So, a couple of weeks ago, a dear friend of mine -- Scott Westerman -- told me about a place and tool called WordPress that is a great place to consolidate one's various webpages!! Scott is a way cool guy whose judgement & expertise I trust. So I went and checked it out and it's pretty cool! I decided that I will begin the process of migrating my blog and main website over to WordPress. My new URL there is http://paulas.wordpress.com/.
So the adventure begins!
~Paulena
Showing posts with label General Ramblings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label General Ramblings. Show all posts
Monday, February 25, 2008
Saturday, February 23, 2008
Leggo My Ego!
I think I mentioned in a recent post that I have been reading a book called “A New Earth: Awakening Your Life’s Purpose,” by Eckhart Tolle. It’s a very good book and it really gets me thinking about a lot of things!
A year or so ago, I posted about how frustrated I was feeling about all the ridiculous media coverage about the Paris Hilton prison saga. Then it was other celebrities behaving badly. Now it’s Britney Spears, among others. The initial reaction (for me) tends to be something like, “Geeze! It’s all so stupid and annoying. Get it out of my face! I’m so tired of hearing about their crap on the NEWS! Leave it on the entertainment shows! The worse they behave, the move I hear about it. And the paparazzi. . . For crying out loud! Leave them alone! Let them be stupid in private!!“ It’s nuts! And it seems to somehow drag me into feeling frustrated. What is that about?
But now I’m reading this book (mentioned above) and I’m learning to see it in a new light! It makes me think about how we respond. It’s an enlightening process and I wish I could share with you all the “ah-ha” moments I’ve come across in the reading. But there are too many and I’d be practically reproducing the entire book! Just go get the book, read it with an open mind and see. There might be a tendency to feel a tad resistant in places. But that’s just the ego not wanting to release some entrenched ways of thinking and viewing things. Just keep reading!
For example, in this particular case — I’m reflecting on the whole issue of celebrities behaving badly, the media over-coverage of it, and how that tends to annoy me. I have to ask myself “Why does that annoy you so much?” I only wanted to sit, turn on the TV for an hour or so, and catch up on the evening news. And while I do get information on world events, I also get bombarded with a spectacle of (what I consider to be) idiot celebrity behaviors. The worse the behaviors, the faster it is broadcast! I didn’t ask for it. I don’t care about it, but there it is, in my face. At that point, I turn off the TV. But then it’s also on the radio, in the newspaper, and on the splash-pages when I bring up Yahoo, MSN or even the Comcast page. It’s everywhere!
Although I might not care to hear about it, apparently THRONGS of people do seem to care about it. Why? It’s like they can’t get enough of it! So the media goes for the ratings. Kind of sick? Yes. It’s like the proverbial train wreck that folks can’t take their eyes off of! It’s so horrifying to see, and yet we keep staring in disbelief. But I think we have all experienced it even though we might not care to admit it. I suppose it’s just human nature. But THAT– human nature is just it!
The main thing that the author, Ekchart Tolle talks about is the ego. He wants to teach us how the ego gets in the way of higher consciousness. It’s nothing new really. Buddhists have been teaching for centuries about letting go of attachments, and that attachments are the root of all suffereing. Eckhart Tolle has studied psychology and various world faiths, so he can put it in slightly differnt terms. He explains it beautifully!
In a nutshell he shows us that the ego gets attached to various things, situations, people, and concepts. The ego identifies with these various things and concepts and it hangs on to them for dear life! Then it operates as if those concepts or things are us, we, or I. Ego fights to keep those identities. We falsely identify ourselves with that. Then we are confused and we believe that we ARE those identities! But, we are not.
In considering all that, I go back to my earlier question about the crazy celebrity coverage. “Why does it annoy you so much?” Well. . . I suppose that’s because. . . it’s junk coverage. It’s not news, it’s invasive! It adds energy to thoughtlessness. It perpetuates a frenzy of negativity that gets splashed everywhere. It is not helpful to me or anyone else. Some of it is even inaccurate! I resent having it thrust upon me where ever I go. In my frustration, I begin to feel judgemental, even though I try not to be that way. Before I know it, I am inadvertantly helping perpetuate the negativity. I end up resenting that too. All that negativity, judgemental thinking, and resentment, turns out to be food for that ol’ ego!
But really, who am *I* to determine what they “should” or “should not” do. . . or that they are “wrong” in this, that, or some other? That is my ego that is attached to my idea of what is wrong or right or proper. I can only determine what is right for my own circumstanses. Even then, I might be too attached to ideas and concepts and become rigid in my thinking, thus creating my own life struggles!
If you really look at it, those celebrities are probably not trying to accomodate society’s clamor for “news” of bad behavior! First of all, they are not what the media displays them to be. Media presents what sells. . . a snapshot of the exterior of someone’s life and a superficial glimpse into a moment of a behavior and a life. Second of all, the celebrities are just doing, just being. . . they are just trying to go about their lives and ego pulls them astray. They make a bad choice, which in turn creates the drama that ego loves. The ego feeds on the drama and the frenzy. That further re-enforces the egoic insanity! It becomes a cycle and they end up believing that’s who they are. So then they continue to make more bad choices. And because they live under a microscope, it’s all documented and displayed for all to see.
It would be up to them to change their behaviors. But like so many people in today’s society, that’s either too hard, or they are cluless that they have that kind of power over their own lives! They make excuses and continue to believe the myth of the identity they have created and taken on for themselves, complete with self-destruction. Ego loves it, and so does the media.
Their cycle of ill-chosen behaviors and the media coverage perpetuates a form of what Mr. Tolle calls “a collective human dysfunction” — that would be all of our collective egos being attached to ideas, concepts, and false identities. In this case, feeding the sick gossip consumption frenzy. Our egos see it, react to it and cause the cycle to continue and even escalate. We’d be better off to mind our own lives and fix our own set of situations. Instead, we focus upon “them” and ”the other.” It’s easier and the ego loves that. . . it likes to make “others” so it can feel superior! It’s an illusion trying to survive by being better than ”others.”
Now here is a concept fo ya. . . from page 62 of my copy of Eckhart Tolle’s book, “A New Earth: Awakening Your Life’s Purpose”
“Nonreaction to the ego in others is one of the most effective ways not only of going beyond ego in yourself, but also of dissolving the collective human ego. But you can only be in a state of nonreaction if you can recognize someone’s behavior as coming from the ego, as being an expression of the collective human dysfunction. When you realize it’s not personal, there is no longer a compulsion to react as if it were.”
Wow!! It’s not personal! Ok, I knew that, but to read it in the context of the things he is sharing with us. . . it was an “ah-ha” moment for me.
Of course this is only a snapshot sample of the book. There are many, many more concepts he shares with the reader. It’s deep and I’ve so far had several ”ah-ha” moments and look forward to many more. That is, of course, why I read the book. I enjoy personal and spiritual growth.
There you have it. Just some thoughts I wanted to share with you. . . all 5 or 6 of my readers. hehe I thought you might enjoy the process. Thanks fo reading. And so my process continues — back to the book!
If you decide to get the book and read it, then happy, insightful reading to you!
Be Well!
~Paulena
A year or so ago, I posted about how frustrated I was feeling about all the ridiculous media coverage about the Paris Hilton prison saga. Then it was other celebrities behaving badly. Now it’s Britney Spears, among others. The initial reaction (for me) tends to be something like, “Geeze! It’s all so stupid and annoying. Get it out of my face! I’m so tired of hearing about their crap on the NEWS! Leave it on the entertainment shows! The worse they behave, the move I hear about it. And the paparazzi. . . For crying out loud! Leave them alone! Let them be stupid in private!!“ It’s nuts! And it seems to somehow drag me into feeling frustrated. What is that about?
But now I’m reading this book (mentioned above) and I’m learning to see it in a new light! It makes me think about how we respond. It’s an enlightening process and I wish I could share with you all the “ah-ha” moments I’ve come across in the reading. But there are too many and I’d be practically reproducing the entire book! Just go get the book, read it with an open mind and see. There might be a tendency to feel a tad resistant in places. But that’s just the ego not wanting to release some entrenched ways of thinking and viewing things. Just keep reading!
For example, in this particular case — I’m reflecting on the whole issue of celebrities behaving badly, the media over-coverage of it, and how that tends to annoy me. I have to ask myself “Why does that annoy you so much?” I only wanted to sit, turn on the TV for an hour or so, and catch up on the evening news. And while I do get information on world events, I also get bombarded with a spectacle of (what I consider to be) idiot celebrity behaviors. The worse the behaviors, the faster it is broadcast! I didn’t ask for it. I don’t care about it, but there it is, in my face. At that point, I turn off the TV. But then it’s also on the radio, in the newspaper, and on the splash-pages when I bring up Yahoo, MSN or even the Comcast page. It’s everywhere!
Although I might not care to hear about it, apparently THRONGS of people do seem to care about it. Why? It’s like they can’t get enough of it! So the media goes for the ratings. Kind of sick? Yes. It’s like the proverbial train wreck that folks can’t take their eyes off of! It’s so horrifying to see, and yet we keep staring in disbelief. But I think we have all experienced it even though we might not care to admit it. I suppose it’s just human nature. But THAT– human nature is just it!
The main thing that the author, Ekchart Tolle talks about is the ego. He wants to teach us how the ego gets in the way of higher consciousness. It’s nothing new really. Buddhists have been teaching for centuries about letting go of attachments, and that attachments are the root of all suffereing. Eckhart Tolle has studied psychology and various world faiths, so he can put it in slightly differnt terms. He explains it beautifully!
In a nutshell he shows us that the ego gets attached to various things, situations, people, and concepts. The ego identifies with these various things and concepts and it hangs on to them for dear life! Then it operates as if those concepts or things are us, we, or I. Ego fights to keep those identities. We falsely identify ourselves with that. Then we are confused and we believe that we ARE those identities! But, we are not.
In considering all that, I go back to my earlier question about the crazy celebrity coverage. “Why does it annoy you so much?” Well. . . I suppose that’s because. . . it’s junk coverage. It’s not news, it’s invasive! It adds energy to thoughtlessness. It perpetuates a frenzy of negativity that gets splashed everywhere. It is not helpful to me or anyone else. Some of it is even inaccurate! I resent having it thrust upon me where ever I go. In my frustration, I begin to feel judgemental, even though I try not to be that way. Before I know it, I am inadvertantly helping perpetuate the negativity. I end up resenting that too. All that negativity, judgemental thinking, and resentment, turns out to be food for that ol’ ego!
But really, who am *I* to determine what they “should” or “should not” do. . . or that they are “wrong” in this, that, or some other? That is my ego that is attached to my idea of what is wrong or right or proper. I can only determine what is right for my own circumstanses. Even then, I might be too attached to ideas and concepts and become rigid in my thinking, thus creating my own life struggles!
If you really look at it, those celebrities are probably not trying to accomodate society’s clamor for “news” of bad behavior! First of all, they are not what the media displays them to be. Media presents what sells. . . a snapshot of the exterior of someone’s life and a superficial glimpse into a moment of a behavior and a life. Second of all, the celebrities are just doing, just being. . . they are just trying to go about their lives and ego pulls them astray. They make a bad choice, which in turn creates the drama that ego loves. The ego feeds on the drama and the frenzy. That further re-enforces the egoic insanity! It becomes a cycle and they end up believing that’s who they are. So then they continue to make more bad choices. And because they live under a microscope, it’s all documented and displayed for all to see.
It would be up to them to change their behaviors. But like so many people in today’s society, that’s either too hard, or they are cluless that they have that kind of power over their own lives! They make excuses and continue to believe the myth of the identity they have created and taken on for themselves, complete with self-destruction. Ego loves it, and so does the media.
Their cycle of ill-chosen behaviors and the media coverage perpetuates a form of what Mr. Tolle calls “a collective human dysfunction” — that would be all of our collective egos being attached to ideas, concepts, and false identities. In this case, feeding the sick gossip consumption frenzy. Our egos see it, react to it and cause the cycle to continue and even escalate. We’d be better off to mind our own lives and fix our own set of situations. Instead, we focus upon “them” and ”the other.” It’s easier and the ego loves that. . . it likes to make “others” so it can feel superior! It’s an illusion trying to survive by being better than ”others.”
Now here is a concept fo ya. . . from page 62 of my copy of Eckhart Tolle’s book, “A New Earth: Awakening Your Life’s Purpose”
“Nonreaction to the ego in others is one of the most effective ways not only of going beyond ego in yourself, but also of dissolving the collective human ego. But you can only be in a state of nonreaction if you can recognize someone’s behavior as coming from the ego, as being an expression of the collective human dysfunction. When you realize it’s not personal, there is no longer a compulsion to react as if it were.”
Wow!! It’s not personal! Ok, I knew that, but to read it in the context of the things he is sharing with us. . . it was an “ah-ha” moment for me.
Of course this is only a snapshot sample of the book. There are many, many more concepts he shares with the reader. It’s deep and I’ve so far had several ”ah-ha” moments and look forward to many more. That is, of course, why I read the book. I enjoy personal and spiritual growth.
There you have it. Just some thoughts I wanted to share with you. . . all 5 or 6 of my readers. hehe I thought you might enjoy the process. Thanks fo reading. And so my process continues — back to the book!
If you decide to get the book and read it, then happy, insightful reading to you!
Be Well!
~Paulena
There Be New Carpet in Here!
Yipee!! It's all done! I have gone from a frozen/burst pipe on New Years Morning. . . to a nicely restored, slightly remodled room and bathroom in about 6 weeks.
It's taken me a few days to get back to the laptop to write and let you know, but the restoration/reconstruction of my room and bathroom is now complete! Before the flooring arrived, I was very happy with how the wall repair and the paint turned out. 
The colors are even better than I had hoped they'd be, although it's hard to really see it in these 
photos. The bathroom is now a light lavender. In my bedroom, only two of the walls were painted during this project. The contractors painted those walls a blushed white, including the walls against the bathroom. My other two lavender walls remained the same, as I painted them 4 years ago.
So. . . I waited for the flooring to arrive.
The colors are even better than I had hoped they'd be, although it's hard to really see it in these 
photos. The bathroom is now a light lavender. In my bedroom, only two of the walls were painted during this project. The contractors painted those walls a blushed white, including the walls against the bathroom. My other two lavender walls remained the same, as I painted them 4 years ago.So. . . I waited for the flooring to arrive.
They called me on Tuesday afternoon to inform me that they would be over the next day, arriving between 8am to 10am to begin installing the flooring. . . I was elated! But I had to vacate everything off the floor of my closet, and who knew just how much had accumulated there!? Yikes! It turns out that when you don't move every couple of years, you forget to go through things and toss stuff to Goodwill or trash it! Ya loose track! What a mess! I have now made a couple of trips to Goodwill and there are more in the plans. . . as I gradually go through things, while putting my room back together!
Anyway, I digress! By Tuesday night, I had everything vacated from the closet floor and I was 
ready for them to arrive with my new flooring. Of course, they would have to be the ones to move the furniture. I planned to move my car out of my garage and store the furniture and such in the garage while the flooring installation took place. That's what we did and it worked nicely.
ready for them to arrive with my new flooring. Of course, they would have to be the ones to move the furniture. I planned to move my car out of my garage and store the furniture and such in the garage while the flooring installation took place. That's what we did and it worked nicely. That Wednesday morning I got up early so I'd be ready by their 8am arrival. 
At 07:30am, my doorbell rang! Yikes!!!! My hair was wrapped up in a towel and. . . I had to toss on a robe to answer the door! "Installation people are NEVER early!!" I thought. I answered the door in a fluster of unpreparedness. . . It was the plumber arriving to remove the commode, before the flooring guys got there. They were actually going to install this stuff correctly!!! Wow. . . How cool! Unlike the builder of the house who just installed the linoleum around the toilet. So I let the plumber in and directed him to the master bathroom to do his work.
I went back into my other bathroom to finish getting dressed and put together. I was finished before the plumber was. I went in to check on his progress. He was almost done. He finished within five minutes and he left. About twenty minutes later, the doorbell rang again and it was the installers! The lead-guy Ray, introduced me to his helper, Diego. 
They seemed very nice. Ray had me come out to the truck to look at the flooring they would be installing. . . to make sure it was what I had ordered and was expecting. It was indeed, the right stuff!
After I moved my car, we set about moving everything out of my room and into the garage. They tore out the old carpet and pad. They brought in various tools to clean the bare concrete floor and materials to begin the intallation processes. They brought in the linoleum, measured and cut it, and Ray began installing it in the bathroom.
At 07:30am, my doorbell rang! Yikes!!!! My hair was wrapped up in a towel and. . . I had to toss on a robe to answer the door! "Installation people are NEVER early!!" I thought. I answered the door in a fluster of unpreparedness. . . It was the plumber arriving to remove the commode, before the flooring guys got there. They were actually going to install this stuff correctly!!! Wow. . . How cool! Unlike the builder of the house who just installed the linoleum around the toilet. So I let the plumber in and directed him to the master bathroom to do his work.
I went back into my other bathroom to finish getting dressed and put together. I was finished before the plumber was. I went in to check on his progress. He was almost done. He finished within five minutes and he left. About twenty minutes later, the doorbell rang again and it was the installers! The lead-guy Ray, introduced me to his helper, Diego. 
They seemed very nice. Ray had me come out to the truck to look at the flooring they would be installing. . . to make sure it was what I had ordered and was expecting. It was indeed, the right stuff!
After I moved my car, we set about moving everything out of my room and into the garage. They tore out the old carpet and pad. They brought in various tools to clean the bare concrete floor and materials to begin the intallation processes. They brought in the linoleum, measured and cut it, and Ray began installing it in the bathroom. 
Meanwhile, Diego cleaned up the concrete floor in my room and prepped the floor for glue and pad. He brought in the materials and began cutting and laying the pad. Once the pad was cut and laid out they way they wanted it, then Diego went back and folded back the pad, poured the glue on the concrete, and laid the pad back in place. It was an odiferous process!
Ray finished intalling the linoleum and then they went outside to get the carpet. They must have measured and cut it outside, and then brought in the carpet. Because when they brought it in, it was just about the right measurements and I noticed I
had extra outside (which they later rolled up and saved for me). The first time I stepped on the new carpet, it was like walking on a fluffy cloud! I love this stuff!
I had never watched a carpet install before,
so the process was interesting. I know they do it everyday, but it was facinating to see how they just zip in and make cuts around corners
and doorjams and it came out perfect! Then the stretching process is cool too. They have nifty tools. It would have taken me two weeks, if I had to do it!! haha But they did it in a few hours! All in all, with moving my furniture out, removing old carpet & pad, prepping the floors, installing linoleum in the bathroom, installing pad and carpet in my room, and then moving my 
furniture back into my room. . . they were done in about 5 or 6 hours! I'm thrilled with the way it all came out! The little bit of color in the linoleum 
matches perfectly with the carpet. I'm very happy with the choices I made.
Ray finished intalling the linoleum and then they went outside to get the carpet. They must have measured and cut it outside, and then brought in the carpet. Because when they brought it in, it was just about the right measurements and I noticed I
had extra outside (which they later rolled up and saved for me). The first time I stepped on the new carpet, it was like walking on a fluffy cloud! I love this stuff! I had never watched a carpet install before,
so the process was interesting. I know they do it everyday, but it was facinating to see how they just zip in and make cuts around corners
and doorjams and it came out perfect! Then the stretching process is cool too. They have nifty tools. It would have taken me two weeks, if I had to do it!! haha But they did it in a few hours! All in all, with moving my furniture out, removing old carpet & pad, prepping the floors, installing linoleum in the bathroom, installing pad and carpet in my room, and then moving my 
furniture back into my room. . . they were done in about 5 or 6 hours! I'm thrilled with the way it all came out! The little bit of color in the linoleum 
matches perfectly with the carpet. I'm very happy with the choices I made. Now. . . I look forward to when the weather warms enough that I can open some windows!! 
The fumes are not too bad, but it does smell a little wierd in my house for now. And, I'll be vacuuming the new carpet a lot. . . New carpet sheds for a while. Although, that's not me vacuuming
there in the photo. . . that is Diego doing the honors of the first vacuuming with my Dyson vacuum. That's the first guy who has offered to vacuum my carpet in a long time! haha It's my job again now. No biggie, as the Dyson does a great job of it. And I'm thoroughly enjoying how the carpet looks and feels!
The fumes are not too bad, but it does smell a little wierd in my house for now. And, I'll be vacuuming the new carpet a lot. . . New carpet sheds for a while. Although, that's not me vacuuming
there in the photo. . . that is Diego doing the honors of the first vacuuming with my Dyson vacuum. That's the first guy who has offered to vacuum my carpet in a long time! haha It's my job again now. No biggie, as the Dyson does a great job of it. And I'm thoroughly enjoying how the carpet looks and feels! That's all on this project! I'm glad it's done.
Be Well!
Be Well!
~Paulena
Monday, February 11, 2008
Becoming More Clear...
The last couple of years, I have known it was time to move on -- career-wise -- to something else. But figuring out what that would be, has taken some introspection, and a lot of reading (book links included in a later paragraph). I've been hearing for years: "Do what you love and the money (prosperity) will follow." Great! Ok, but what if you aren't sure what it is "you love" to do... or where you want your life to go? Sounds a little ridiculous, yes, but tons of people are struggling with this very thing right now!!!
So... how can you NOT know what you love to do? Easy! You spend your life, from very early on, deferring to people you respect who say they love you, or care about you... people who think they know better. And these people are trying to "guide" you down a path that they think would be much better for you than those crazy notions you have in your head! Ok, message received. You hang your head and move on and do what you've been told you are "supposed" to do. You pay the bills. Heaven forbid that you would "make waves!" That's how it begins.
Then you are going about your so-called life, and you mention an idea that you always wanted to try or might like to try... and someone... a teacher? a school counselor? a doctor? a parent? a spouse? a sibling? ...Someone tells you "That's NUTS! You can't do that! You'd never be able to pull that off. What's wrong with you? You'd never be any good at that. That's a really dumb idea! You'd never make a living doing that! What would people think? Forget that, you have to get a graduate degree or you'll be nothing! That's not a safe idea. Quit Dreaming! Get back to reality! You'd be a laughing stock! What are you??? Crazy? Be sensible!" Bark, bark, woof woof.... You know the rest... theme and variations. I've seen it a bazillion times-- and probably so have you!
Again, you hang your head, feeling ridiculous for ever bringing up such ludicrous thoughts!! How dare you!? Feeling supremely stupid, low, and unworthy of being listened to ever again. And you think, "Yeah, what was I thinking? Just shut up and pay the bills."
HOW SAD!!! And yet, these obstacles are part of the path, and part of the lesson! They are part of what can build your inner strength... if you allow it.
Guess what? Those crazy notions you had in your head... notions that maybe you HAVE had in your head a long time... THOSE are most probably what you love to do! Ok, sometimes we have more that one crazy notion. And sometimes we need to whittle and shape those notions into something useable. So what? It's a process! Where did those notions of yours go? If you have lost touch with them, how do you find them again?
For me, I got to thinking (Dangerous pastime, I know!)... And I mentally went back in time... back to when I was about 4 and 5 years old. I thought about all the times grown-ups would ask, "So... What do you want to be when you grow up?" My responses varied a little, and in looking back, I now realize that I didn't yet possess the vocabulary to accurately express the ideas I had in my young, little head.
To the best of my ability, I generally told those grown-ups that I wanted to be a "teacher" or a "witch." Imagine that!!! haha I got more than a few raised eyebrows on that one!! But to me at age 4, a witch was a healer. I wasn't meaning a nurse or doctor... I meant a healer. I just didn't know what it was called, so I formed a category I thought covered it... maybe not so eloquently. When asked "Why a teacher?" I answered with, "I want to teach people to not be mean... to be nice, and to think." I didn't see myself teaching English, or History, or Science, or Home-Ec... to me at that age, a teacher was someone who taught compassion, how to be smart, who showed the way... and taught by example.
That was how I envisioned the someday-adult-Paula, would be. She would be someone who was a healer and who could assist in showing the way. How esoteric of me! Woo-woo!! (I'm chuckling) hahaha But at the age of 4 and 5, I didn't quite know how to properly express this... and maybe it was just as well. The grown-ups had a tendency to smile, pat me on the head, chuckle and say something like, "Oh how cute! Isn't that nice." It wasn't like they were asking because they would actually take me seriously!!!
It wasn't long before I began hearing: "You should be a nurse." OR "You should teach little kids." So people began "should-ing" on me fairly early in life. I'm sure most you out there experienced that too. This, in turn, taught me to "should" on myself. Soon, I could no longer "hear" that little girl who wanted... anything.
Now, now... Don't cry for my Argentina!! We ALL went through some variation of this. THAT is why SO MANY people today are struggling with "What do I really want to be when I grow up?" ...and they are 30,... 45 years old!!!
So where does this leave us? Being older than we thought we'd be when trying to figure it out! It leaves us with attending class reunions and learning that many of our classmates have already had 3, 4, or even 5 "careers" and some are still looking for... what they really want to be when they grow up. Guess what? That's Ok!
It's not too late to find what you love to do, to change careers, and to find your passion. However you want to phrase it, it's not too late! But it will probably take some work. It will take some digging and some commitment. You will most likely have to be willing to delve deep into yourself and bring out some things that got buried along the way. I have found that keeping a journal is most helpful. Meditation is helpful, although not easy. I have also been doing a ton of reading. Ahh... the reading...
A couple of years ago, I discovered "The Law of Attraction," by Ester & Jerry Hicks. I listened to it as a book on CD. Late last year, I discovered another of their books, "The Astonishing Power of Emotions: Let Your Feelings Be Your Guide." I just finished it. Very enlightening! Within the last year or so, I began hearing about a book called "The Secret," by Rhonda Byrne (which is also becoming a movie) ... Turns out, that one is all about learning to use the Law of Attraction. Go figure! I haven't yet had the chance to read "The Secret," but it IS on my reading list. The book I just started is, "The New Earth: Awakening Your Life's Purpose," by Eckhart Tolle, also the author of "The Power of Now." I heard about it from Oprah. It turns out that in the beginning of March (2008), she is hosting an online, 10 week, workshop based on the book. Co-facilitating it will be the author, Eckhart Tolle. How cool is that? And the online workshop is free. You can click on the Oprah link to go to Oprah's website and learn more! Response has been wild! This is hot... See? Lots of people want to understand this stuff. We are not alone!
I have been a "metaphysical-type" for a many years now... exploring various books and various spiritual ideas and flavors. I always knew that eventually, this path would lead me to something that I loved to do and felt good about. There have been a few times, when I came close to following my heart-felt path. Along the way, there have been a handful of nay Sayers in and out of my life, who felt the need to squash my ideas or tell me I was crazy or wrong for thinking this, that, or the other. Maybe they didn't intend to have that effect upon me, but that was the end result. It temporarily smothered my internal spark from igniting my heart-felt passion for what my soul was calling me to do. That resulted in feeling sad and depressed. I kept wondering what happened to the spark I used to have... where had it gone? It took a while for me to rediscover it.
Now, having said that, I must take responsibility for allowing these various people to have that effect upon me. Especially once I was a grown adult! Unfortunately, at those times, I just wasn't seeing what was happening. These were people who had been important to me, thus I trusted their opinions a little too much. I wasn't quite "getting it" (yet) that ultimately; I had to be the one to say,
"So what's it to ya? Why are you so invested in keeping me down? Why do you want to keep me from pursuing what feels right to me? Why can't you just let me be who I am and allow me to pursue what interests me?"
And ultimately, I needed to shake off their opinions and doubts, not let them get to me, and I needed to put my foot down and follow what my soul was trying to tell me. It sounds like such a no-brainer now!! But it just wasn't that easy when I was trying to find my truest path. But that is all water under the proverbial bridge. That was then... this is NOW! And NOW is all I can take care of... Now and the Future!
Life is complicated these days... now more than ever. You will sometimes make "mistakes," but that is part of learning! It's Ok to make some mistakes... they will be a part of your path!
It is said in some circles (and I believe this) that if you prevent a person from progressing on their path, you will incur negative karma for stunting them. Even if you block them by way of not holding them responsible for their own personal development, that is still blocking their progress!! Some folks don't realize that they are doing this to others. Well-meaning or not, it all becomes a matter of trying to control other people and situations... to a greater or lesser degree. It's an impossible endeavor. In the end, you cannot get away with controlling other people or their lives, and you cannot change other people. If you can't accept them as they are, walk away. If they cannot accept you for who you are, as you are right now... walk away. Easier said than done, I know.
You cannot change the past. You can stop others from pushing you down now, but it takes courage and the strength to stand and tell them what's what! Even if you waiver and find yourself down, you have the power to get back up and make the changes you want in your own life!!! You can really only control your own thoughts, deeds, and actions... in the here and now... and you can effect your future. As Gandhi used to say, "Be the change you wish to see in the world."
I am now at a place where I can see some very positive things begining to happen in my life. Some things I had been struggling with are now resolving and I am begining to see some things with more clarity. I am making sense of things that I had been confused about. I am formulating what my "purpose" might be... and I see that it very possibly is multiple choice! I am finding joy in the possibilities!
Still waiting for carpet... but life is good!
Be well,
~Paulena
So... how can you NOT know what you love to do? Easy! You spend your life, from very early on, deferring to people you respect who say they love you, or care about you... people who think they know better. And these people are trying to "guide" you down a path that they think would be much better for you than those crazy notions you have in your head! Ok, message received. You hang your head and move on and do what you've been told you are "supposed" to do. You pay the bills. Heaven forbid that you would "make waves!" That's how it begins.
Then you are going about your so-called life, and you mention an idea that you always wanted to try or might like to try... and someone... a teacher? a school counselor? a doctor? a parent? a spouse? a sibling? ...Someone tells you "That's NUTS! You can't do that! You'd never be able to pull that off. What's wrong with you? You'd never be any good at that. That's a really dumb idea! You'd never make a living doing that! What would people think? Forget that, you have to get a graduate degree or you'll be nothing! That's not a safe idea. Quit Dreaming! Get back to reality! You'd be a laughing stock! What are you??? Crazy? Be sensible!" Bark, bark, woof woof.... You know the rest... theme and variations. I've seen it a bazillion times-- and probably so have you!
Again, you hang your head, feeling ridiculous for ever bringing up such ludicrous thoughts!! How dare you!? Feeling supremely stupid, low, and unworthy of being listened to ever again. And you think, "Yeah, what was I thinking? Just shut up and pay the bills."
HOW SAD!!! And yet, these obstacles are part of the path, and part of the lesson! They are part of what can build your inner strength... if you allow it.
Guess what? Those crazy notions you had in your head... notions that maybe you HAVE had in your head a long time... THOSE are most probably what you love to do! Ok, sometimes we have more that one crazy notion. And sometimes we need to whittle and shape those notions into something useable. So what? It's a process! Where did those notions of yours go? If you have lost touch with them, how do you find them again?
For me, I got to thinking (Dangerous pastime, I know!)... And I mentally went back in time... back to when I was about 4 and 5 years old. I thought about all the times grown-ups would ask, "So... What do you want to be when you grow up?" My responses varied a little, and in looking back, I now realize that I didn't yet possess the vocabulary to accurately express the ideas I had in my young, little head.
To the best of my ability, I generally told those grown-ups that I wanted to be a "teacher" or a "witch." Imagine that!!! haha I got more than a few raised eyebrows on that one!! But to me at age 4, a witch was a healer. I wasn't meaning a nurse or doctor... I meant a healer. I just didn't know what it was called, so I formed a category I thought covered it... maybe not so eloquently. When asked "Why a teacher?" I answered with, "I want to teach people to not be mean... to be nice, and to think." I didn't see myself teaching English, or History, or Science, or Home-Ec... to me at that age, a teacher was someone who taught compassion, how to be smart, who showed the way... and taught by example.
That was how I envisioned the someday-adult-Paula, would be. She would be someone who was a healer and who could assist in showing the way. How esoteric of me! Woo-woo!! (I'm chuckling) hahaha But at the age of 4 and 5, I didn't quite know how to properly express this... and maybe it was just as well. The grown-ups had a tendency to smile, pat me on the head, chuckle and say something like, "Oh how cute! Isn't that nice." It wasn't like they were asking because they would actually take me seriously!!!
It wasn't long before I began hearing: "You should be a nurse." OR "You should teach little kids." So people began "should-ing" on me fairly early in life. I'm sure most you out there experienced that too. This, in turn, taught me to "should" on myself. Soon, I could no longer "hear" that little girl who wanted... anything.
Now, now... Don't cry for my Argentina!! We ALL went through some variation of this. THAT is why SO MANY people today are struggling with "What do I really want to be when I grow up?" ...and they are 30,... 45 years old!!!
So where does this leave us? Being older than we thought we'd be when trying to figure it out! It leaves us with attending class reunions and learning that many of our classmates have already had 3, 4, or even 5 "careers" and some are still looking for... what they really want to be when they grow up. Guess what? That's Ok!
It's not too late to find what you love to do, to change careers, and to find your passion. However you want to phrase it, it's not too late! But it will probably take some work. It will take some digging and some commitment. You will most likely have to be willing to delve deep into yourself and bring out some things that got buried along the way. I have found that keeping a journal is most helpful. Meditation is helpful, although not easy. I have also been doing a ton of reading. Ahh... the reading...
A couple of years ago, I discovered "The Law of Attraction," by Ester & Jerry Hicks. I listened to it as a book on CD. Late last year, I discovered another of their books, "The Astonishing Power of Emotions: Let Your Feelings Be Your Guide." I just finished it. Very enlightening! Within the last year or so, I began hearing about a book called "The Secret," by Rhonda Byrne (which is also becoming a movie) ... Turns out, that one is all about learning to use the Law of Attraction. Go figure! I haven't yet had the chance to read "The Secret," but it IS on my reading list. The book I just started is, "The New Earth: Awakening Your Life's Purpose," by Eckhart Tolle, also the author of "The Power of Now." I heard about it from Oprah. It turns out that in the beginning of March (2008), she is hosting an online, 10 week, workshop based on the book. Co-facilitating it will be the author, Eckhart Tolle. How cool is that? And the online workshop is free. You can click on the Oprah link to go to Oprah's website and learn more! Response has been wild! This is hot... See? Lots of people want to understand this stuff. We are not alone!
I have been a "metaphysical-type" for a many years now... exploring various books and various spiritual ideas and flavors. I always knew that eventually, this path would lead me to something that I loved to do and felt good about. There have been a few times, when I came close to following my heart-felt path. Along the way, there have been a handful of nay Sayers in and out of my life, who felt the need to squash my ideas or tell me I was crazy or wrong for thinking this, that, or the other. Maybe they didn't intend to have that effect upon me, but that was the end result. It temporarily smothered my internal spark from igniting my heart-felt passion for what my soul was calling me to do. That resulted in feeling sad and depressed. I kept wondering what happened to the spark I used to have... where had it gone? It took a while for me to rediscover it.
Now, having said that, I must take responsibility for allowing these various people to have that effect upon me. Especially once I was a grown adult! Unfortunately, at those times, I just wasn't seeing what was happening. These were people who had been important to me, thus I trusted their opinions a little too much. I wasn't quite "getting it" (yet) that ultimately; I had to be the one to say,
"So what's it to ya? Why are you so invested in keeping me down? Why do you want to keep me from pursuing what feels right to me? Why can't you just let me be who I am and allow me to pursue what interests me?"
And ultimately, I needed to shake off their opinions and doubts, not let them get to me, and I needed to put my foot down and follow what my soul was trying to tell me. It sounds like such a no-brainer now!! But it just wasn't that easy when I was trying to find my truest path. But that is all water under the proverbial bridge. That was then... this is NOW! And NOW is all I can take care of... Now and the Future!
Life is complicated these days... now more than ever. You will sometimes make "mistakes," but that is part of learning! It's Ok to make some mistakes... they will be a part of your path!
It is said in some circles (and I believe this) that if you prevent a person from progressing on their path, you will incur negative karma for stunting them. Even if you block them by way of not holding them responsible for their own personal development, that is still blocking their progress!! Some folks don't realize that they are doing this to others. Well-meaning or not, it all becomes a matter of trying to control other people and situations... to a greater or lesser degree. It's an impossible endeavor. In the end, you cannot get away with controlling other people or their lives, and you cannot change other people. If you can't accept them as they are, walk away. If they cannot accept you for who you are, as you are right now... walk away. Easier said than done, I know.
You cannot change the past. You can stop others from pushing you down now, but it takes courage and the strength to stand and tell them what's what! Even if you waiver and find yourself down, you have the power to get back up and make the changes you want in your own life!!! You can really only control your own thoughts, deeds, and actions... in the here and now... and you can effect your future. As Gandhi used to say, "Be the change you wish to see in the world."
I am now at a place where I can see some very positive things begining to happen in my life. Some things I had been struggling with are now resolving and I am begining to see some things with more clarity. I am making sense of things that I had been confused about. I am formulating what my "purpose" might be... and I see that it very possibly is multiple choice! I am finding joy in the possibilities!
Still waiting for carpet... but life is good!
Be well,
~Paulena
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
Just Waiting for the Flooring!
Project "Flood Recovery" is almost done. The painting is all done except for the bathroom baseboards, which have to be done after the linoleum install. Now all we are waiting for is the floor coverings to arrive. The carpet and linoleum have been ordered and we expect they will arrive either this Friday or Monday. Installation should commence a day or two after that. The flooring contractor is Ray's Flooring.
What a relief it will be to finally have this all done and behind me. It has been 37 days since the pipe froze and the water crept in. But I was certainly NOT alone in that frustrating experience. Many homeowners across the Albuquerque-metro area have dealt with it in the last six weeks! It's made for a disturbance in the Force around here, for sure, but something do-able. I learned a long time ago that I can weather almost anything as long as it is temporary. And the end result after all is done will be that I end up with a bonus bedroom/bathroom partial remodel that I never expected. I'm sure it will add a more cheerful energy to my space and brighten up the winter doldrums! It will be a bit more colorful. I could use that about now. I'm so glad the days are getting longer now! I've posted some photos of the process now. I went back and added photos from the day it happened, on up to more recent. Soon, it will be a memory. Maybe next week!
I'm still on the job hunt. Not too nervous just yet. Answering a few nibbles. . . we shall see if they amount to anything in the end. Cross your fingers for me, say a little prayer (if you wouldn't mind), or keep me in your meditation a moment. . . whatever positive thoughts you can spare for the cause. I'd appreciate it. That's about it for now.
Thanks for visiting!
Be Well!
~Paulena
What a relief it will be to finally have this all done and behind me. It has been 37 days since the pipe froze and the water crept in. But I was certainly NOT alone in that frustrating experience. Many homeowners across the Albuquerque-metro area have dealt with it in the last six weeks! It's made for a disturbance in the Force around here, for sure, but something do-able. I learned a long time ago that I can weather almost anything as long as it is temporary. And the end result after all is done will be that I end up with a bonus bedroom/bathroom partial remodel that I never expected. I'm sure it will add a more cheerful energy to my space and brighten up the winter doldrums! It will be a bit more colorful. I could use that about now. I'm so glad the days are getting longer now! I've posted some photos of the process now. I went back and added photos from the day it happened, on up to more recent. Soon, it will be a memory. Maybe next week!
I'm still on the job hunt. Not too nervous just yet. Answering a few nibbles. . . we shall see if they amount to anything in the end. Cross your fingers for me, say a little prayer (if you wouldn't mind), or keep me in your meditation a moment. . . whatever positive thoughts you can spare for the cause. I'd appreciate it. That's about it for now.
Thanks for visiting!
Be Well!
~Paulena
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Restoration Update...
True to their word, the contractors are here this week, working on my master bathroom and the corner of my bedroom. . . and generally putting things back to being right. It's a company called Cactus Rose Construction (I've also seen them listed as Cactus Rose Enterprises) and they have been terrific. I would post their website if I could find one, but they don't seem to have one yet. They have been very polite, thoughtful and respectful of my space. They have been very consciencious. The bedroom wall is now repaired and I expect the room will be painted tomorrow. They painted the bathroom today. The flooring sub-contractor should be out tomorrow to look at things. I will need to pick out new linoleum and they might be replacing the carpet. . . if it cannot be re-stretched into place. There is a worn spot that may prevent the re-stretching, so we shall see. So far, things are coming along and looking nice. They expect to have most of the work done by Friday, although the flooring stuff will trickle into next week.
More later. . .
Be well!
~Paulena
More later. . .
Be well!
~Paulena
Saturday, January 12, 2008
Interesting Health Info.
Just a quick note. I was reading a newsletter I get once or twice a month. In it, there was a link to "TriVita's 10 Essentials" which is mostly a common sense list of healthy things to do for optimal health. But I think the clencher is thinking about it and paying attention to what we do. . . our actions, our thoughts, our deeds, and what we take into our bodies. So often, in today's face-paced lifestyles, we forget to pay attention. Here's a simple reminder, a simple list to help you remember how to keep yourself better tuned.
Be Well!
~Paulena
Be Well!
~Paulena
Friday, January 11, 2008
Drying Out...
Happy Friday!
A few people have asked, "So how is the restoration going? Are you drying out yet?" Well, let's see. . . New Years Day was pretty much a wash. hahaha
Hey, at least I can laugh about it! I had the drone of the two big fans for a total of six days. I think that I mentioned about the restoration guys visiting Thursday, and partially cutting open my bedroom wall to air-out behind the tub.
Friday, my insurance adjuster visited, photographed, measured and documented, but I think I mentioned that too. Monday the
restoration guys came back and took their fan club home. It was suddenly SO quiet!!! The heater came on and startled me! haha "Oh yeah, regular house noises!" But there was still a six foot hole in the bottom 12" of my bedroom wall and insulation was exposed. It would have been a messy place to have the cats messing around and exploring, so I had to keep the bedroom door closed for a while longer. And if you know anything about cats, they do NOT suffer a closed door in their house very well!! So there was no hope of ME using the room and shutting them out. They would have worried the door into oblivian!! So we continued to camp out in the living room a few more days.
The contractor fellow from Cactus Rose Construction had called me on Sunday, just to touch base. He said he'd call back on Monday to schedule a visit. He forgot about me on Monday. I called them on Tuesday and he called me back within about an hour. He said he had that nagging feeling all day Monday that he'd forgotten something. He appologized profusely and said he felt so guilty. I told him that as long as he felt guilty, then he was forgiven. We laughed. He visited later, on Tuesday afternoon. He also measured and documented. He gave me the bad news. . . That it would be about three weeks before they could get to me.
He said I have the option to ask State Farm to chose another contractor in the hopes of getting someone sooner. But I already knew how slammed everyone in the local industry has been. A LOT of folks had freezing pipe troubles between Christmas and New Years, but most of them sustained more damage than I did, because most of them weren't home when their's happened, and/or their's came through ceilings. I was one of the lucky ones. So I told him that if three weeks was when we could get it done, then so be it. I asked only one thing. . .
. . . "Could you, pretty please, slap some wall board up over the hole in my wall, to keep the cats out of the wall? That way I could at least be back in my bedroom and sleep in my own bed and get off the couch! Could you please just do that little thing? No frills, just wall board."
He said that would be no problem and that he could come over in the next two days and do that for me. He said he would do that himself. I was very grateful. That
meant I would only be on the couch another night or two. He actually ended up coming over the very next day. . . to take the photos he forgot to take the day before, and to put the wall board up for me. Then he moved the entertainment center back against the wall for me and put the tv back in place.
So I'm off the couch and using my bedroom again. I'm opting to keep that bathroom closed off, for now. There is no linoleum on the floor, just bare concrete. And the front kick-board is now missing from the vanity. None of that is a real big deal and I could toss a couple of throw rugs down and still use that bathroom. But the silly cats do try to squeeze under the vanity. I worry that there might be exposed nails under
there or they might get stuck. Since I have already been using the middle bathroom and my stuff is already in there. . . AND I would just have to move my stuff back into the middle bath in three weeks (when they come back to do the work). . . I just keep the master bath closed and use the middle 
bathroom until it will be all done. Besides, the cats have been enjoying the clear shower curtain I have in the middle bathroom. It seems to be a fun novelty to explore! So it's all good and things will gradually get back to closer to normal.
I'm still looking for meaningful work, but I'm Ok so far. Last night I was sitting in my livingroom, reading a book about my new camera, by the fire. I had a purring cat sitting against one leg. I had to smile. I thought about how very blessed I am. I have a home, and a loving family, and terrific friends. I am warm and relatively safe in my home. It's a calm and happy place to be. So there are a couple of minor inconveniences in my life at the moment. . . So what? At least my circumstanses are such that I qualify for unemployment benefits. And I will find meaningful employment. . . Long before the benefits run out, I'm sure! I feel blessed that I can sit by a warm fireplace in my home and read a book with a purry kitty at my side. And I know that if I want to pick up the phone and chat with my Mom or my Dad, some other family member, or one of my friends, they are a phone call away. So. . . Life is Good!
Be well!
~Paulena
A few people have asked, "So how is the restoration going? Are you drying out yet?" Well, let's see. . . New Years Day was pretty much a wash. hahaha
Hey, at least I can laugh about it! I had the drone of the two big fans for a total of six days. I think that I mentioned about the restoration guys visiting Thursday, and partially cutting open my bedroom wall to air-out behind the tub. Friday, my insurance adjuster visited, photographed, measured and documented, but I think I mentioned that too. Monday the
restoration guys came back and took their fan club home. It was suddenly SO quiet!!! The heater came on and startled me! haha "Oh yeah, regular house noises!" But there was still a six foot hole in the bottom 12" of my bedroom wall and insulation was exposed. It would have been a messy place to have the cats messing around and exploring, so I had to keep the bedroom door closed for a while longer. And if you know anything about cats, they do NOT suffer a closed door in their house very well!! So there was no hope of ME using the room and shutting them out. They would have worried the door into oblivian!! So we continued to camp out in the living room a few more days.The contractor fellow from Cactus Rose Construction had called me on Sunday, just to touch base. He said he'd call back on Monday to schedule a visit. He forgot about me on Monday. I called them on Tuesday and he called me back within about an hour. He said he had that nagging feeling all day Monday that he'd forgotten something. He appologized profusely and said he felt so guilty. I told him that as long as he felt guilty, then he was forgiven. We laughed. He visited later, on Tuesday afternoon. He also measured and documented. He gave me the bad news. . . That it would be about three weeks before they could get to me.
He said I have the option to ask State Farm to chose another contractor in the hopes of getting someone sooner. But I already knew how slammed everyone in the local industry has been. A LOT of folks had freezing pipe troubles between Christmas and New Years, but most of them sustained more damage than I did, because most of them weren't home when their's happened, and/or their's came through ceilings. I was one of the lucky ones. So I told him that if three weeks was when we could get it done, then so be it. I asked only one thing. . .
. . . "Could you, pretty please, slap some wall board up over the hole in my wall, to keep the cats out of the wall? That way I could at least be back in my bedroom and sleep in my own bed and get off the couch! Could you please just do that little thing? No frills, just wall board."
He said that would be no problem and that he could come over in the next two days and do that for me. He said he would do that himself. I was very grateful. That
meant I would only be on the couch another night or two. He actually ended up coming over the very next day. . . to take the photos he forgot to take the day before, and to put the wall board up for me. Then he moved the entertainment center back against the wall for me and put the tv back in place. So I'm off the couch and using my bedroom again. I'm opting to keep that bathroom closed off, for now. There is no linoleum on the floor, just bare concrete. And the front kick-board is now missing from the vanity. None of that is a real big deal and I could toss a couple of throw rugs down and still use that bathroom. But the silly cats do try to squeeze under the vanity. I worry that there might be exposed nails under
there or they might get stuck. Since I have already been using the middle bathroom and my stuff is already in there. . . AND I would just have to move my stuff back into the middle bath in three weeks (when they come back to do the work). . . I just keep the master bath closed and use the middle 
bathroom until it will be all done. Besides, the cats have been enjoying the clear shower curtain I have in the middle bathroom. It seems to be a fun novelty to explore! So it's all good and things will gradually get back to closer to normal. I'm still looking for meaningful work, but I'm Ok so far. Last night I was sitting in my livingroom, reading a book about my new camera, by the fire. I had a purring cat sitting against one leg. I had to smile. I thought about how very blessed I am. I have a home, and a loving family, and terrific friends. I am warm and relatively safe in my home. It's a calm and happy place to be. So there are a couple of minor inconveniences in my life at the moment. . . So what? At least my circumstanses are such that I qualify for unemployment benefits. And I will find meaningful employment. . . Long before the benefits run out, I'm sure! I feel blessed that I can sit by a warm fireplace in my home and read a book with a purry kitty at my side. And I know that if I want to pick up the phone and chat with my Mom or my Dad, some other family member, or one of my friends, they are a phone call away. So. . . Life is Good!
Be well!
~Paulena
Friday, January 04, 2008
Wacky Water Works...
Happy New Year!!
I rang in the new year quietly. I stayed home and watched movies by the fire. The next morning, I awoke and made the coffee. I was watching the morning news and sipping my coffee when I heard. . . what was that? It sounded like my bathtub was hissing! I jumped up and ran in the bathroom to see what it was. It didn't appear that anything was happening
in there. As the fog cleared my head, I realized it must be the hose bib outside, on the other side of that wall. I jumped into my shoes and ran out into my backyard. . . Sure enough! There was the hose bib spewing a geyser of water. . . pipe froze, broke and let loose!
Well now, the nice builders of my house didn't put in a home-owner water shut-off valve. . . so the only water shut off for my house is the one in the sidewalk, out front. Problem is, I can't lift that big ol' heavy metal panel to get to the shut off. . . then, I also don't have the right tool to turn the valve. In my residual fog, instead of thoughtfully calling 311 -- I called a neighbor, who wasn't home. Then I called my Mom (since she has dealt with floods before). . . and oh yeah. . . Just call 311!!! haha DUH! A sleepy, foggy brain is a frustrating thing!
I finally called 311, and they gave me the number to the emergency water services. I called them and they sent a crew out. It took an excruciating 15 - 20 minutes. . . very quick actually. But when your house it spewing from a main artery, it seems like forever! In the meantime, I went back into my bedroom for something. I walked over near the bathroom and. . . squish! Oh s%*#!!!
I looked at the bathroom floor. . . water was oozing across the floor. . . from the wall!! I tossed
towels down on the floor in a desperate attempt to keep the water back. But there wasn't much I could do about the water going under my carpet, into my bedroom. I just hoped I could get things stopped and 
someone to move the entertainment center before it sustained any damage!
"Oh where is that water crew???" I thought. I went to the linen closet and grabbed more towels and tossed them down on the bathroom floor. Like a trapped cat, I ran back and forth from the bedroom to the front door. . . anxiously searching to see if the crew had arrived yet. They finally arrived and shut off the water!! Hallelujah!! I then called my home owner's insurance company, filed the claim, and got my claim number.
Then, I called Mom back and asked for names of reliable companies to mop up. I called Rockefeller's Cleaning and Restoration upon her recommendation. They, in turn, recommended TLC Plumbing. That's who has been taking care of the cleanup & the plumbing fix, respectively. I have been very happy with both companies! TLC came within a couple of hours (on a chilly holiday) and fixed the affected plumbing and got my water turned back on. I was only without water for about 4 hours. Just as the plumber was finishing his work, the restoration guys arrived.
The cleaning and restoration has consisted of quickly unloading and moving my entertainment center, pulling up part of the bedroom base boards, pulling up part of the carpet, removing the affected carpet pad and probing the wall base with a nifty device that measures moisture. They measured and documented. Then they wet-vac-ed the area. Next, they set up a fan club of two
big fans. I have listened to the drone of the fans since Tuesday afternoon. But it's all for a good cause. Thursday, the restoration guys came back and removed the linoleum (water came in underneath it and the backing was wet), 
and they cut open part of the bedroom-bathroom wall to probe for moisture, which we were sure we'd find loads of. . . since the water bib is on the opposite side of the tub wall. Much to our astonishment, it was relatively dry!! But just to be on the safe side, they redirected the fans inside the wall. . . to dry everything back there for several days. I wouldn't want any mildew growing in there!
The insurance adjuster visited me today (Friday) and surveyed the area, measured, photographed, and documented everything. He explained to me the next options and steps. We decided upon a plan of action and he left to submit the report and get the rest of the ball rolling. They will choose a contractor to call me by Monday for scheduling the work. I could have chosen the contractor, but this way, they oversee any issues that might develop and the contractor still works for me. . . and I still have the final say-so on the work. So the contractor will call me. On Monday, we schedule the work. The vanity might have to be replaced, the linoleum replaced, the wall board has to be replaced & the room painted, the affected carpet pad replaced, the carpet re-stretched (if possible) and put back and cleaned. If the carpet cannot be restretched, then probably new carpet will go in. Of course, they take care of moving all the furniture involved. Whew!
My cats are weathering the process remarkably well. They are cautious of the noisy fans, but curious. They are especially curious about the big hole in the wall!!! But that is part of why I have the bedroom closed off. That also cuts down the effect of the noise. They hate that closed door!! In the meantime, we camp out in the living room and use my sleeping bag. Yes, I do have a second bedroom, but
it's my "study/office" and it was already a disaster-area. . . a mess I have intended upon organizing this year! And now. . . it also has some of the stuff from my entertainment center stored in there. I fear it will get worse, before it improves!
So in the grand scheme of things, it could have been so much worse! Thank God I was home when it happened, that I heard it, and that it happened while I was awake (relatively awake). It's an inconvenience, but it's getting resolved. The restoration guys told me they had moved a couple of families out of their homes before they arrived at my house. . . folks who had gone to New Year's Eve parties and had arrived home at 2 or 3am and came home to "Squish!" -- a completely flooded house due to frozen & burst pipes! So I feel rather blessed that I caught mine early!!!
I hope your New Years has been more quiet than mine. And I hope that you have a wonderful, prosperous, and happy year!
Cheers!
To your health!
~Paulena
I rang in the new year quietly. I stayed home and watched movies by the fire. The next morning, I awoke and made the coffee. I was watching the morning news and sipping my coffee when I heard. . . what was that? It sounded like my bathtub was hissing! I jumped up and ran in the bathroom to see what it was. It didn't appear that anything was happening
in there. As the fog cleared my head, I realized it must be the hose bib outside, on the other side of that wall. I jumped into my shoes and ran out into my backyard. . . Sure enough! There was the hose bib spewing a geyser of water. . . pipe froze, broke and let loose! Well now, the nice builders of my house didn't put in a home-owner water shut-off valve. . . so the only water shut off for my house is the one in the sidewalk, out front. Problem is, I can't lift that big ol' heavy metal panel to get to the shut off. . . then, I also don't have the right tool to turn the valve. In my residual fog, instead of thoughtfully calling 311 -- I called a neighbor, who wasn't home. Then I called my Mom (since she has dealt with floods before). . . and oh yeah. . . Just call 311!!! haha DUH! A sleepy, foggy brain is a frustrating thing!
I finally called 311, and they gave me the number to the emergency water services. I called them and they sent a crew out. It took an excruciating 15 - 20 minutes. . . very quick actually. But when your house it spewing from a main artery, it seems like forever! In the meantime, I went back into my bedroom for something. I walked over near the bathroom and. . . squish! Oh s%*#!!!
I looked at the bathroom floor. . . water was oozing across the floor. . . from the wall!! I tossed
towels down on the floor in a desperate attempt to keep the water back. But there wasn't much I could do about the water going under my carpet, into my bedroom. I just hoped I could get things stopped and 
someone to move the entertainment center before it sustained any damage! "Oh where is that water crew???" I thought. I went to the linen closet and grabbed more towels and tossed them down on the bathroom floor. Like a trapped cat, I ran back and forth from the bedroom to the front door. . . anxiously searching to see if the crew had arrived yet. They finally arrived and shut off the water!! Hallelujah!! I then called my home owner's insurance company, filed the claim, and got my claim number.
Then, I called Mom back and asked for names of reliable companies to mop up. I called Rockefeller's Cleaning and Restoration upon her recommendation. They, in turn, recommended TLC Plumbing. That's who has been taking care of the cleanup & the plumbing fix, respectively. I have been very happy with both companies! TLC came within a couple of hours (on a chilly holiday) and fixed the affected plumbing and got my water turned back on. I was only without water for about 4 hours. Just as the plumber was finishing his work, the restoration guys arrived.
The cleaning and restoration has consisted of quickly unloading and moving my entertainment center, pulling up part of the bedroom base boards, pulling up part of the carpet, removing the affected carpet pad and probing the wall base with a nifty device that measures moisture. They measured and documented. Then they wet-vac-ed the area. Next, they set up a fan club of two
big fans. I have listened to the drone of the fans since Tuesday afternoon. But it's all for a good cause. Thursday, the restoration guys came back and removed the linoleum (water came in underneath it and the backing was wet), 
and they cut open part of the bedroom-bathroom wall to probe for moisture, which we were sure we'd find loads of. . . since the water bib is on the opposite side of the tub wall. Much to our astonishment, it was relatively dry!! But just to be on the safe side, they redirected the fans inside the wall. . . to dry everything back there for several days. I wouldn't want any mildew growing in there! The insurance adjuster visited me today (Friday) and surveyed the area, measured, photographed, and documented everything. He explained to me the next options and steps. We decided upon a plan of action and he left to submit the report and get the rest of the ball rolling. They will choose a contractor to call me by Monday for scheduling the work. I could have chosen the contractor, but this way, they oversee any issues that might develop and the contractor still works for me. . . and I still have the final say-so on the work. So the contractor will call me. On Monday, we schedule the work. The vanity might have to be replaced, the linoleum replaced, the wall board has to be replaced & the room painted, the affected carpet pad replaced, the carpet re-stretched (if possible) and put back and cleaned. If the carpet cannot be restretched, then probably new carpet will go in. Of course, they take care of moving all the furniture involved. Whew!
My cats are weathering the process remarkably well. They are cautious of the noisy fans, but curious. They are especially curious about the big hole in the wall!!! But that is part of why I have the bedroom closed off. That also cuts down the effect of the noise. They hate that closed door!! In the meantime, we camp out in the living room and use my sleeping bag. Yes, I do have a second bedroom, but
it's my "study/office" and it was already a disaster-area. . . a mess I have intended upon organizing this year! And now. . . it also has some of the stuff from my entertainment center stored in there. I fear it will get worse, before it improves! So in the grand scheme of things, it could have been so much worse! Thank God I was home when it happened, that I heard it, and that it happened while I was awake (relatively awake). It's an inconvenience, but it's getting resolved. The restoration guys told me they had moved a couple of families out of their homes before they arrived at my house. . . folks who had gone to New Year's Eve parties and had arrived home at 2 or 3am and came home to "Squish!" -- a completely flooded house due to frozen & burst pipes! So I feel rather blessed that I caught mine early!!!
I hope your New Years has been more quiet than mine. And I hope that you have a wonderful, prosperous, and happy year!
Cheers!
To your health!
~Paulena
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
If You Liked Those Guys...
If you really like those guys (the a-cappella male chorus, in my previous post), then you could order their CD. I understand it is currently on back order, while they press more of them... but go for it!
You can get it at:
http://www.a-cappella.com/product/646/video-performance-pop
The web site also gives a bit more info & history about these guys.
Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!
~Paulena
You can get it at:
http://www.a-cappella.com/product/646/video-performance-pop
The web site also gives a bit more info & history about these guys.
Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!
~Paulena
Friday, November 30, 2007
New Beginnings
Things, they are a changin'! It's been a hectic Autumn. At the first of this (2007) year, the company I have worked at for over 6 years, was purchased. So with the new year, we had new owners. With that came all kinds of little things transitioning and changing. Then, came Summer and Fall. . . they decided to buy a business condo and remodel that for us to move into. Whew! Moving was a job. Try taking a business that has been in the same location over 20 years and collected a whole lot of. . . stuff. Now figure out how to stuff it into a new location half the size! Yikes!!! Fortunately, I was not the one having to worry with most of that, but it took the better part of a month... a tad more really. So, needless to say, A BUNCH of stuff was sold or given away, to make room.
I was the first employee to make the move to the new location. . . me, my stuff, and the phone system. The remodeling was not quite finished, so it was a bit of a pain at times. But as far as staff went, I was there mostly by myself for about 3 weeks. That wasn't all bad. When there wasn't any actual construction happening, it was quiet. But business slowed down. And now, business has slowed so much, that they can no longer fund my position!! Yep, I've been laid-off. Kinda sucks, but I'm trying to use it as a positive. Now I can look, full-time, for another job that I like better!
So here I go, into this Holiday season. . . carefully. It will be a lean Christmas, but that's not what it's all about anyway. I have family here, so it will all work out. I will work hard to find just the right new job, and I'll have faith that I will find it at the right time.
Hey, at least my car is paid off!
I figured I'd better stop in and post something before the month was gone. But that is why the posts have slowed down. Life got a little nuts. Thanksgiving was pretty good here. Even though I had the looming unemployment staring me down, I was with family and we had a nice time. My uncle even came in from out of town. We hadn't seen him in about 5 years, so it was great to see him. All was good.
That's about it for now.
Wish me luck on the employment search.
Be well, and safe!
~Paulena
I was the first employee to make the move to the new location. . . me, my stuff, and the phone system. The remodeling was not quite finished, so it was a bit of a pain at times. But as far as staff went, I was there mostly by myself for about 3 weeks. That wasn't all bad. When there wasn't any actual construction happening, it was quiet. But business slowed down. And now, business has slowed so much, that they can no longer fund my position!! Yep, I've been laid-off. Kinda sucks, but I'm trying to use it as a positive. Now I can look, full-time, for another job that I like better!
So here I go, into this Holiday season. . . carefully. It will be a lean Christmas, but that's not what it's all about anyway. I have family here, so it will all work out. I will work hard to find just the right new job, and I'll have faith that I will find it at the right time.
Hey, at least my car is paid off!
I figured I'd better stop in and post something before the month was gone. But that is why the posts have slowed down. Life got a little nuts. Thanksgiving was pretty good here. Even though I had the looming unemployment staring me down, I was with family and we had a nice time. My uncle even came in from out of town. We hadn't seen him in about 5 years, so it was great to see him. All was good.
That's about it for now.
Wish me luck on the employment search.
Be well, and safe!
~Paulena
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Halloween Fun!
Happy Halloween!!This morning, I came into work and found that a friend of mine had sent me a cool e-mail with some fun links in it. (Thank you MB!!) Her e-mail had links to all the states to find out if there are haunted places in your state (and of course there always are). But for the purpose of posting, I decided to just post the one link to the main site: The Shadowlands Haunted Places
Go there, scroll down and you can click on various links to see what places in your state (and others) are haunted. AND, they have links to haunted places in other countries (other than the USA). It's fun and very interesting!! Enjoy!!
And here is a fun link I found: Bats Bats Everywhere Poor little misunderstood cuties! I love bats. I know some people think they are scary or funny-looking. And yes, some of them are kind of funny. But I think most of them are very cute. I have rescued a couple of them, in the past. If you like bats, or are merely curious about them, you can also check out The Bat Conservation International and you can learn a lot there.
Anyway, gotta get back to the work thing.
Hope you enjoy those little tidbits!
Have a happy and SAFE Halloween!!
~Paulena
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Another Fiesta Gone
I won't say it. . . about time flying by. Opps! I said it! The Albuquerque International Balloon Fiesta has come and gone. Yes, it flew by too! :-)
It's been a really crazy month. The office of my employer has been moving to a new location. It's an old company (20+ years old - therefore read, lot of stuff to move), but the company was recently purchased (January 2007) and has new owners. It has been stressful and tiring transition. New things are happening. Out with the old rented building location and in with a newly remodeled business condo they have purchased. Moving all that stuff. . . Yikes! It's been a job for all involved who have had to go through all the old stuff. The questions being. . . Shall we toss out or donate. . . or keep it and move it? It's been hectic, but it is finally coming to a close.
I wasn't initially certain if I'd be able to take any time off for the Balloon Fiesta or not! The first weekend, I had too much to try to get done at home. During the week, I had to work. But I did finally get out there for the Friday competitions and the Saturday Mass Ascension. It's a far cry from the several years that I crewed. And the skies are now much more crowded than the eight years that I flew a balloon almost everyday of the nine-day event, as a registered pilot. But at least I made it for a couple of days this year.
As I walked around the field and took pictures, I thought of the handful of balloonist friends and acquaintances who we lost this past year. . . who I was sure were with us there in spirit. I saw one balloon out there that was once owned by my friend Chuck. He later sold it to Chris. . . they both passed away this past year. Chris' balloon was still flying this year, a friend or relative piloting now. Only this year, it had a banner "In Memory of Chris...". I thought of both Chris and Chuck and I was missing their physical presence here this Fiesta. But they would want "the show to go on!"
These days, I generally crew for some good friends of mine. I had something to do with getting them involved in ballooning back in the mid 1980's. I gave Sylvia her first balloon ride back in 1985. I had lost touch with them for a few years in between, but I reconnected with them about 5 years ago. Friday, they had more passengers and crew than they knew quite what to do with, so I happily stayed on the field and took hundreds of pictures! I was in photographer's heaven! I love the Key-Grab event. It's my favorite competition. I used to LOVE flying in it, but I also love being able to photograph it. I caught a few good pics of Doug flying by the key-grab pole. We met back up at the launch grid, after Doug flew.
Then there was the massive picnic/potluck/cookout at the launch grid, with the other crews of that general vicinity. A good time is usually had by all, not to mention great food! Friday morning, they cooked Eggs Benedict Southwestern Style! And Saturday, they fixed up bowls of fabulous Frito Pie, complete with genuine New Mexico Chimyo Red Chili! You should SEE the set-up. It's like some sort of gourmet camp out! Photos just don't do it justice! They do this every day of Fiesta, every year. It still amazes me, even five years back into it. As soon as I grab some time to get the photos off my memory cards, I'll pop a few in here! Check back soon!
That last Sunday, I just had too much to try to get done at home, again! So I didn't go out that day. I watched the coverage on the television, as I puttered around doing laundry and such. I did see Doug launch that morning and it looked like it would be a good flight. Later, I had dinner plans with my family Sunday evening, for my birthday (a day early). I got done about half what I had intended, but that's just the way it goes sometimes.
Dinner was fun with my family. We went to The Olive Garden. It's a place I knew my grandmother would be Ok with. I want her to enjoy the dinner too. I hadn't been there in a while. Then we caravaned over to my Mom & Don's house for cake, frozen yogurt and coffee. And opening of presents too! I received a bunch of great stuff. Among my new treasures. . . A Jack LaLanne Power Juicer!! Now let me tell you. . . I have used 5 or 6 different juicers over the years. I no longer have any of those, because they were noisy, messy, and did NOT yield much juice. So what was the point? In short, they were a pain in the ass!
But THIS one. . . My Jack LaLanne Power Juicer. . . I LOVE IT!!!!!!! And no, I'm not getting paid to say this. This juicer is quieter than my dishwasher! It leaves behind relatively little, fairly dry pulp and I get more juice from the fruits and veggies than from any juicer I ever used. I believe that my Mom purchased this juicer from Costco. But I know it's also available on line. I have all kinds of 'x-sperimentin' to do!!! I love including strawberries, raspberries and oranges. So far, that's a fav!! But I also have enjoyed some vegetable juices too! Usually, I despise beets. It's a thing from childhood. Maybe I'll tell that story someday soon. . . but I just hate beets. However, I know that beet juice is in various commercial juices I have purchased, and I like those. So I figured, I'll try a vegetable juice with beets in it. Not bad at all!! I was so proud of myself for drinking my beets!
I have to say here, just a quick side-bar. . . This is reminding me a bit of when I had to grind up broccoli (and other vegetables) in the food processor in order to add them to recipes and hide them from my now ex-husband. At that time, it was the ONLY way to get him to eat most vegetables! Oh, how he used to complain if he happened to see them in there!! I know he may very well read this. . . Please understand, I am now chuckling at this. As now, he is a vegetarian! The brat! hehehe :-)
Anyway, this juicer thing is a great way to fit in your 3-5 vegetable servings and your 2-4 fruits servings per day!!!
http://www.mypyramid.gov/
Or just type in "food pyramid" into Google, and you get a list of links to check it out, if you have forgotten what the guidelines are.
And I have found, what I think is the best juicer in the world (that my family or I could afford!).
And now, here it is almost November!! Thanksgiving around the corner. I understand that my Uncle is coming in from Maryland to visit for Thanksgiving. He hasn't been here in ages! About 5 years. It will be nice to see him and spend some time with the big brat! ;-) Ok, well. . . He is a bigger brat than me! It will be a quick few days, but good to see him any way he can get here!
Then we've got to gear up for the Christmas shopping already! I-yi-yi!!
Better sign off for now. Lots to get done.
Don't forget to check back in soon. . . I hope to pop some photos in here.
Be well!
Paulena
It's been a really crazy month. The office of my employer has been moving to a new location. It's an old company (20+ years old - therefore read, lot of stuff to move), but the company was recently purchased (January 2007) and has new owners. It has been stressful and tiring transition. New things are happening. Out with the old rented building location and in with a newly remodeled business condo they have purchased. Moving all that stuff. . . Yikes! It's been a job for all involved who have had to go through all the old stuff. The questions being. . . Shall we toss out or donate. . . or keep it and move it? It's been hectic, but it is finally coming to a close.
I wasn't initially certain if I'd be able to take any time off for the Balloon Fiesta or not! The first weekend, I had too much to try to get done at home. During the week, I had to work. But I did finally get out there for the Friday competitions and the Saturday Mass Ascension. It's a far cry from the several years that I crewed. And the skies are now much more crowded than the eight years that I flew a balloon almost everyday of the nine-day event, as a registered pilot. But at least I made it for a couple of days this year.
As I walked around the field and took pictures, I thought of the handful of balloonist friends and acquaintances who we lost this past year. . . who I was sure were with us there in spirit. I saw one balloon out there that was once owned by my friend Chuck. He later sold it to Chris. . . they both passed away this past year. Chris' balloon was still flying this year, a friend or relative piloting now. Only this year, it had a banner "In Memory of Chris...". I thought of both Chris and Chuck and I was missing their physical presence here this Fiesta. But they would want "the show to go on!"
These days, I generally crew for some good friends of mine. I had something to do with getting them involved in ballooning back in the mid 1980's. I gave Sylvia her first balloon ride back in 1985. I had lost touch with them for a few years in between, but I reconnected with them about 5 years ago. Friday, they had more passengers and crew than they knew quite what to do with, so I happily stayed on the field and took hundreds of pictures! I was in photographer's heaven! I love the Key-Grab event. It's my favorite competition. I used to LOVE flying in it, but I also love being able to photograph it. I caught a few good pics of Doug flying by the key-grab pole. We met back up at the launch grid, after Doug flew.
Then there was the massive picnic/potluck/cookout at the launch grid, with the other crews of that general vicinity. A good time is usually had by all, not to mention great food! Friday morning, they cooked Eggs Benedict Southwestern Style! And Saturday, they fixed up bowls of fabulous Frito Pie, complete with genuine New Mexico Chimyo Red Chili! You should SEE the set-up. It's like some sort of gourmet camp out! Photos just don't do it justice! They do this every day of Fiesta, every year. It still amazes me, even five years back into it. As soon as I grab some time to get the photos off my memory cards, I'll pop a few in here! Check back soon!
That last Sunday, I just had too much to try to get done at home, again! So I didn't go out that day. I watched the coverage on the television, as I puttered around doing laundry and such. I did see Doug launch that morning and it looked like it would be a good flight. Later, I had dinner plans with my family Sunday evening, for my birthday (a day early). I got done about half what I had intended, but that's just the way it goes sometimes.
Dinner was fun with my family. We went to The Olive Garden. It's a place I knew my grandmother would be Ok with. I want her to enjoy the dinner too. I hadn't been there in a while. Then we caravaned over to my Mom & Don's house for cake, frozen yogurt and coffee. And opening of presents too! I received a bunch of great stuff. Among my new treasures. . . A Jack LaLanne Power Juicer!! Now let me tell you. . . I have used 5 or 6 different juicers over the years. I no longer have any of those, because they were noisy, messy, and did NOT yield much juice. So what was the point? In short, they were a pain in the ass!
But THIS one. . . My Jack LaLanne Power Juicer. . . I LOVE IT!!!!!!! And no, I'm not getting paid to say this. This juicer is quieter than my dishwasher! It leaves behind relatively little, fairly dry pulp and I get more juice from the fruits and veggies than from any juicer I ever used. I believe that my Mom purchased this juicer from Costco. But I know it's also available on line. I have all kinds of 'x-sperimentin' to do!!! I love including strawberries, raspberries and oranges. So far, that's a fav!! But I also have enjoyed some vegetable juices too! Usually, I despise beets. It's a thing from childhood. Maybe I'll tell that story someday soon. . . but I just hate beets. However, I know that beet juice is in various commercial juices I have purchased, and I like those. So I figured, I'll try a vegetable juice with beets in it. Not bad at all!! I was so proud of myself for drinking my beets!
I have to say here, just a quick side-bar. . . This is reminding me a bit of when I had to grind up broccoli (and other vegetables) in the food processor in order to add them to recipes and hide them from my now ex-husband. At that time, it was the ONLY way to get him to eat most vegetables! Oh, how he used to complain if he happened to see them in there!! I know he may very well read this. . . Please understand, I am now chuckling at this. As now, he is a vegetarian! The brat! hehehe :-)
Anyway, this juicer thing is a great way to fit in your 3-5 vegetable servings and your 2-4 fruits servings per day!!!http://www.mypyramid.gov/
Or just type in "food pyramid" into Google, and you get a list of links to check it out, if you have forgotten what the guidelines are.
And I have found, what I think is the best juicer in the world (that my family or I could afford!).
And now, here it is almost November!! Thanksgiving around the corner. I understand that my Uncle is coming in from Maryland to visit for Thanksgiving. He hasn't been here in ages! About 5 years. It will be nice to see him and spend some time with the big brat! ;-) Ok, well. . . He is a bigger brat than me! It will be a quick few days, but good to see him any way he can get here!
Then we've got to gear up for the Christmas shopping already! I-yi-yi!!
Better sign off for now. Lots to get done.
Don't forget to check back in soon. . . I hope to pop some photos in here.
Be well!
Paulena
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
Letting Go...
A friend of mine sent me this wonderful e-mail a week or so ago. I have received some form of this before, a time or two... but it is SO TRUE, that I feel a strong need to share it.
In the course of my life, I have occasionally made the mistake of trying to hold on to something or someone, long after it was time to let go. Sometimes it was me trying to hold on to them... and other times it was them trying to hold on to me. In the long run, once we learned to "let it go," I think we are all happier people now. (To them, I send my most sincere well-wishes!) I wish we had learned sooner, but that's how it goes sometimes.
When we use guilt or whatever method to try pulling someone back into staying in our life. . . or if we keep them from following their heartfelt path and leaving, I think that they are never really back with us. I think a part of them can never actually come back. . . that part is already gone. They might go through the motions-- they might seem to try, but their heart may never be in it. So you never really have the entire person back with you. So what's the point? It's never the same again.
I learned the long hard lessons... well, the hard way! I wish I had understood this mindset a very LONG time ago... and taken it to heart. I wish I had understood then, that there will always be a better situation around the corner... just waiting for us to enter. But much like Dorothy and the Ruby Slippers, sometimes we have to learn things in our own way, in our own time... and figure out we had the power and ability to get there the whole time. We deal with the pain it causes us... and hopefully we grow from it.
With no further ado... A great lesson to learn and take to heart.
There are people who can walk away from you. And that is OK!!!
And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you: let them walk!!
In the course of my life, I have occasionally made the mistake of trying to hold on to something or someone, long after it was time to let go. Sometimes it was me trying to hold on to them... and other times it was them trying to hold on to me. In the long run, once we learned to "let it go," I think we are all happier people now. (To them, I send my most sincere well-wishes!) I wish we had learned sooner, but that's how it goes sometimes.
When we use guilt or whatever method to try pulling someone back into staying in our life. . . or if we keep them from following their heartfelt path and leaving, I think that they are never really back with us. I think a part of them can never actually come back. . . that part is already gone. They might go through the motions-- they might seem to try, but their heart may never be in it. So you never really have the entire person back with you. So what's the point? It's never the same again.
I learned the long hard lessons... well, the hard way! I wish I had understood this mindset a very LONG time ago... and taken it to heart. I wish I had understood then, that there will always be a better situation around the corner... just waiting for us to enter. But much like Dorothy and the Ruby Slippers, sometimes we have to learn things in our own way, in our own time... and figure out we had the power and ability to get there the whole time. We deal with the pain it causes us... and hopefully we grow from it.
With no further ado... A great lesson to learn and take to heart.
There are people who can walk away from you. And that is OK!!!
And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you: let them walk!!
I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone, or close the door.
When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.
The bible said that, they came out from us that it might be made manifest that they were not for us.
For had they been of us, no doubt they would have continued with us. [1 John 2:19]
People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay.
Let them go.
And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is over And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead.
You've got to know when it's dead.
You've got to know when it's over... Let me tell you something. I've got the gift of good-bye. It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye. It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have, He'll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it. Stop begging people to stay.
Let them go!!
If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life,
then you need to........
LET IT GO!!!
If you are holding on to past hurts and pains ......
LET IT GO!!!
If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and
see your worth.....
LET IT GO!!!
If someone has angered you ........
LET IT GO!!!
If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge......
LET IT GO!!!
If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction.....
LET IT GO!!!
If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents
LET IT GO!!!
If you have a bad attitude.........
LET IT GO!!!
If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better......
People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay.
Let them go.
And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is over And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead.
You've got to know when it's dead.
You've got to know when it's over... Let me tell you something. I've got the gift of good-bye. It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye. It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have, He'll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it. Stop begging people to stay.
Let them go!!
If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life,
then you need to........
LET IT GO!!!
If you are holding on to past hurts and pains ......
LET IT GO!!!
If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and
see your worth.....
LET IT GO!!!
If someone has angered you ........
LET IT GO!!!
If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge......
LET IT GO!!!
If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction.....
LET IT GO!!!
If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents
LET IT GO!!!
If you have a bad attitude.........
LET IT GO!!!
If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better......
LET IT GO!!!
If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new level.....
LET IT GO!!!
If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship.......
LET IT GO!!!
If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help themselves.....
LET IT GO!!!
If you're feeling depressed and stressed.......
LET IT GO!!!
If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yourself and God is saying "take your hands off of it," then you need to......
LET IT GO!!!
Let the past be the past. Forget the former things. GOD is doing a new thing for 2007... & 2008...!!!
LET IT GO!!!
Get Right or Get Left .. think about it, and then....
LET IT GO!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wise words, & wise thinking.
A line from "The GodFather" comes to mind... "It's not personal, it's business!"
It might feel personal, but try not to take it that way... try to move past that. It will take time, but try to understand that we are all in the business of living our lives and doing what is best for each of us. We must each follow our own path. And if someone honestly feels that it's time for them to leave and move on... Let Them!
I try to remember that any and all struggles I have been through or allowed into my life are not wasted time. It sometimes feels like it was wasted, but I have to bless those times as a part of what has made me who I am today... and then lovingly let it go. Sometimes, I have a day where I think too much about things of the past. I think about how I wish I had handled this or that differently, or I wish I had not tried to change the direction of something or someone. Then I give my brain a "high-five," I take a deep breath, and release it back into the Universe. I ask God and the Angels to please take it away and transform it into a more positive energy for the greater good.
I like to think that I have since learned this lesson. I feel that I have made great progress on this in the last 7 or 8 years. For that, I am grateful! I hope I will continue to learn, grow and be wise enough, now and in the future, to not take on so much struggle and to "Let go" when it is time.
Be Well...
~Paulena
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Lunar Eclipse Success!!
Well. . . Mostly anyway! As I mentioned in the previous post, at 04:20 (MDT) in Albuquerque, there was a broken layer of alto cumulus clouds obscuring the moon. That finally moved out of the way by about 04:35 or
04:45. . . And the clicking began! I had my tripod and camera on standby and quickly set them up. I'm glad I got the images, but I'm disappointed with the quality of the lower-light, red phase photos I captured. Of course, until you get them on a regular computer screen, you just can't quite tell how they came out. This was the first time I had a chance to use this particular camera for a total eclipse. So I had a bit of a learning curve to tackle -- In the dark! This is by far, the best digital camera I've owned, so far. However, over the past 2 & 1/2 years, I have been finding it's limitations. Last night was another such occasion. Don't get me wrong, I still like my Fuji FinePix S7000. It's just that there are some things I would like to stretch into that this camera may not be able to stretch with me. I may have to save up (sooner) for the DSLR camera I have my eye on and see how I fair with that! See here the first (red totality shot), and the last of the series I shot last night.
I found that my old film cameras were a tad easier to do the manual focus on an object like this, in mostly darkness. With this camera, the view finder was very grainy with such a dim subject.
The graininess made it next to impossible to see well enough to tell whether I'd focused finely enough. When I tried to focus further, it appeared to be too much the other way -- which frankly never made sense to me, being that infinity should do it. . . I mean, it's the moon which is pretty friggin' far away! But it was like the focus ring would never stop. There may be an issue I need to have checked out. We shall see.
~Note: Upon further thought, I now realize that some of the "soft focus" (in the red shot above) is probably also due to the long exposure and not "tracking" the moon. . . as there would have been slight travel of the moon in that 2 or 3 second shot (whatever it was, I forget). That would also account for some of the fuzz to it. That one kind of reminds me of a peach! Anyway -- MORE argument for getting a telescope!! hehe
In the meantime, I did the best I could working with less than optimal conditions. I really need to break out the instructions again and re-read the low-light stuff. I has been a while!
Once the moon was in less shadow, the graininess in the view finder diminished and my ability to focus improved! And. . . my exposures decreased with the added light, ergo. . . less moon movement. I'm thinking. . . perhaps if I'd had a telescope to attach the camera to, perhaps the focus would not have been an issue. I'll try that next time (I hope).
Unfortunately, I heard from one source that the next total lunar eclipse that would be visible in the U.S.A., would not be for about 6 or 7 years. However, I've heard from a couple of other sources that it will be in February 2008. I will have to double check the facts on that!! But it is, what it is! I'll roll with that. Maybe by then, I'll have that sweet little Olympus DSLR that I've been salivating over! I'd be MORE than happy to test that little bugger out anytime! ;-) OR I'll have a telescope?
At any rate, it was way to early for sane people to be getting up, but I really wanted to try this out. Now I've learned a few more things. I'm always. . . ok, usually up for that. I'm now motivated more than ever to locate my old negatives of the last time I stayed up and photographed a total lunar eclipse -- on film. I now want to find them and scan them in and see how they compare.
Soon, hopefully.
Be well!
~Paulena
04:45. . . And the clicking began! I had my tripod and camera on standby and quickly set them up. I'm glad I got the images, but I'm disappointed with the quality of the lower-light, red phase photos I captured. Of course, until you get them on a regular computer screen, you just can't quite tell how they came out. This was the first time I had a chance to use this particular camera for a total eclipse. So I had a bit of a learning curve to tackle -- In the dark! This is by far, the best digital camera I've owned, so far. However, over the past 2 & 1/2 years, I have been finding it's limitations. Last night was another such occasion. Don't get me wrong, I still like my Fuji FinePix S7000. It's just that there are some things I would like to stretch into that this camera may not be able to stretch with me. I may have to save up (sooner) for the DSLR camera I have my eye on and see how I fair with that! See here the first (red totality shot), and the last of the series I shot last night. I found that my old film cameras were a tad easier to do the manual focus on an object like this, in mostly darkness. With this camera, the view finder was very grainy with such a dim subject.
The graininess made it next to impossible to see well enough to tell whether I'd focused finely enough. When I tried to focus further, it appeared to be too much the other way -- which frankly never made sense to me, being that infinity should do it. . . I mean, it's the moon which is pretty friggin' far away! But it was like the focus ring would never stop. There may be an issue I need to have checked out. We shall see.~Note: Upon further thought, I now realize that some of the "soft focus" (in the red shot above) is probably also due to the long exposure and not "tracking" the moon. . . as there would have been slight travel of the moon in that 2 or 3 second shot (whatever it was, I forget). That would also account for some of the fuzz to it. That one kind of reminds me of a peach! Anyway -- MORE argument for getting a telescope!! hehe
In the meantime, I did the best I could working with less than optimal conditions. I really need to break out the instructions again and re-read the low-light stuff. I has been a while!
Once the moon was in less shadow, the graininess in the view finder diminished and my ability to focus improved! And. . . my exposures decreased with the added light, ergo. . . less moon movement. I'm thinking. . . perhaps if I'd had a telescope to attach the camera to, perhaps the focus would not have been an issue. I'll try that next time (I hope).
Unfortunately, I heard from one source that the next total lunar eclipse that would be visible in the U.S.A., would not be for about 6 or 7 years. However, I've heard from a couple of other sources that it will be in February 2008. I will have to double check the facts on that!! But it is, what it is! I'll roll with that. Maybe by then, I'll have that sweet little Olympus DSLR that I've been salivating over! I'd be MORE than happy to test that little bugger out anytime! ;-) OR I'll have a telescope?
At any rate, it was way to early for sane people to be getting up, but I really wanted to try this out. Now I've learned a few more things. I'm always. . . ok, usually up for that. I'm now motivated more than ever to locate my old negatives of the last time I stayed up and photographed a total lunar eclipse -- on film. I now want to find them and scan them in and see how they compare.
Soon, hopefully.
Be well!
~Paulena
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