Flustrations, Oh my!

Currently, I have a few friends going through various emotional upheavals in their lives. I feel for all of them, as the things they are currently weathering, I have also been through myself. One just lost her husband to cancer, another is going through a divorce, and yet another friend is navigating difficult emotional & financial terrain and trying to break free into divorce, in order to realize some lifelong dreams. There is yet another who is trying to decide whether or not to stay in a relationship which will depend upon her partner's decisions to straighten himself out (or not).

I suppose we really do live in crazy times! My life has it's own silly little novella on the side. But we all just try to navigate as best we can. It's part of life and our life-path. . . and ultimately learning and growing as we go along. One friend is blogging as a therapeutic process to get her through her tough times. She is also using it as a bit of a learning experience as she examines what went wrong and how she can prevent herself from falling into such circumstances again! In this process of hers, she has posted a few interesting web sites. She recently posted an article about passive aggressive behavior within a relationship. I read that article and then followed a couple of the other links within the site. The article author, Lynne Namka, Ed.D., is a licensed Psychologist and has some very interesting and seemingly helpful advice (for all ages) on handling anger and frustration. As a matter of fact, she has an entire web site (Angries Out) that seems to be devoted to helping both kids and adults with handling the various anger and frustration issues that come up in life!

It's a very interesting site! In today's rush, rush world we live in, it seems that time is speeding up and tempers are running short everywhere. Some days it seems everywhere I go, I'm running into stressed-out people who are angry or frustrated and ready to argue. I have to really be mindful and remind myself to just. . . breathe and not let them suck me into their dramas! I've lost count of how many times thoughtless people have cut me off in traffic, or pulled some other stupid stunt. I see them do it to everyone around them. I call some of them "Floaters". . . You decide what connotation to put that in. hehe Some of these people seem clueless as to the impact they have on those around them. Some of them seem to know, but not to care. . . just RUDE! It doesn't exactly make for a happy atmosphere!

Maybe my memory is just bad, or maybe I was naive, but I simply don't remember things being so tense 20 or 25 years ago. These days, I notice civility going out the window. I notice people allowing themselves to behave badly. . . and rudely! Some of the shows on tv seem to even condone these nasty behaviors. . . as in - whomever can behave the most horribly, rudely, and/or the most unethically, wins the million dollars! What the hell is up with that crap? (Don't even get me started on that, we don't have room here!). I suppose given all that, it's no wonder tensions seem to be rising. That, and the fact so many people don't seem to realize they really need to slow down and take care, makes it rough for everyone.

In my perusal of the various links on the "AngriesOut" site, I found another article that was about having your common sense hijacked due to getting "flooded" with hormones during an argument. In other words. . . being overcome with various emotions during an argument and not being able to think straight. I think that might happen to many of us at one time or another. I know that for me, when in an argument (or a "spirited discussion," as some people have insisted upon calling them) I sometimes become a little overwhelmed. I need more time to process what is being said. . . the possible allegations being tossed at me, or the stream of information coming at me. After reading this article, I have a better understanding of why that happens. It seems that some of your processing ability can get hijacked when emotions ramp up. Very interesting stuff!

Another article my friend passed on to me about passive aggressive behavior is "What's Up With the Passive Aggressive." I've only had a chance to read part of that one, but it looks interesting too. I suppose it may be because I'm working on minimizing frustrations in my own life right now. . . that these things are coming my way. One of those things where ya just notice the information more now that it's pertinent. So, Live & Read & Learn!

Be well!
~Paulena